Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Somethings I have been thinking about...
So, here i am. This morning is totally precious, strange. I am in so much pain, but I love the day. I am not quite sure how...something about flowers. i love flowers ... sometimes. There were a few beautiful flowers that Anita sent to me via text this morning. I don't know where they are from, but they are fabulous. One is a deep blue pot with yellow and orange flowers in it... such bright and brilliant flowers... I love them. I was reading some of what Anita and whomever was talking with her on FB today. One thing that really struck me was that God's creations top all of our greatest and expensive creations. For example, some people think they need to build something with our most expensive mediums, in order to speak with God. And that is just so not it. One flower.... ONE FLOWER!!! defeats all of our creations before God. His small beautiful creations such as the baby's breath flower, is so beautiful and adds such a depth to other flowers, like the traditional rose... no one can top that! I have seen buildings that are adorned with gold and diamonds... and none are as beautiful as say one of God's daisies or wild roses. it is amazing.
I was reminded of going to these beautiful buildings every weekend with a group of my classmates ... Sat mornings... and I would endure the buildings so that i could dance around in the gardens outside the buildings. I believe that God's beauty is worth exploring and experiencing, and to put yourself inside a building thinking that you would be more acceptable to God...is infact ignoring Gods beautiful natural gifts. I believe that going inside and worshiping on Sundays is one thing... but to think that a man made place full of precious stones and gold and silver... would get you closer to God... there is a huge flaw in that way of thinking.. there is no way that God would think, well you made this with your money, and did all this expensive things, so your will to talk to me is greater than that of a poor man... so I God will hear you more, than the poor man... that is just rediculous. I am poor. I do not even own one single piece of diamond or gold.... but I know that God hears me! He does not make it a rule that I build Him a place that is filled with as much expensive stuff as I can manage. Infact, God says that doing that is wrong. I would much rather sit in a field of flowers kneel down and contemplate on the mercy and power of God, and talk with Him. He requires a contrite heart, not an expensive building or anything in the like manner.
Wow, what a thing to realize. God is so good. He provides everything. I will trust in the Lord for everything. God is so good.
Yay...
I was reminded of going to these beautiful buildings every weekend with a group of my classmates ... Sat mornings... and I would endure the buildings so that i could dance around in the gardens outside the buildings. I believe that God's beauty is worth exploring and experiencing, and to put yourself inside a building thinking that you would be more acceptable to God...is infact ignoring Gods beautiful natural gifts. I believe that going inside and worshiping on Sundays is one thing... but to think that a man made place full of precious stones and gold and silver... would get you closer to God... there is a huge flaw in that way of thinking.. there is no way that God would think, well you made this with your money, and did all this expensive things, so your will to talk to me is greater than that of a poor man... so I God will hear you more, than the poor man... that is just rediculous. I am poor. I do not even own one single piece of diamond or gold.... but I know that God hears me! He does not make it a rule that I build Him a place that is filled with as much expensive stuff as I can manage. Infact, God says that doing that is wrong. I would much rather sit in a field of flowers kneel down and contemplate on the mercy and power of God, and talk with Him. He requires a contrite heart, not an expensive building or anything in the like manner.
Wow, what a thing to realize. God is so good. He provides everything. I will trust in the Lord for everything. God is so good.
Yay...
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Comfort my tears...
J'ai besoin de toi ici! J'ai besoin de toi maintenant! Je veux que tu me tiens, mais je ne sais pas comment. Cependant, je crois en ce que tu me dis. Veuillez vous dites que vous m'aimez
Saturday, June 8, 2013
You Love Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHA1EZeZw_8&feature=em-upload_owner-smbtn
This is my new song, a really rough demo, but i think you get the general idea, very excited to be putting it on my CD in Aug....
Yay!!
Sabrina
This is my new song, a really rough demo, but i think you get the general idea, very excited to be putting it on my CD in Aug....
Yay!!
Sabrina
Monday, May 13, 2013
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Ode to an Open Book (11/ 1995)
Knowledge pours from your rim,
Ready for the thirsty to drink it up.
I've nearly swallowed my fill,
When the day is o'er.
Fairy Tales of wishes and wants,
Ladies in waiting full of woe,
Anguishing for Sir Lancelot
To deliver them from terrible ogres.
Heroes dashing, the gentle and brave,
Fighting duels for fair maidens.
Hoping to win a lovely bride,
And stay alive in the venture.
Science Fiction, glamour girls,
Lipstick tips and Dandelions.
Mathematics, Auto shop
Draw my mind into delicate fantasy.
But books are best when it's hot,
Refreshing, like a summer's night breeze.
So, put on your bathing suit and hop
Right into a book.
Ready for the thirsty to drink it up.
I've nearly swallowed my fill,
When the day is o'er.
Fairy Tales of wishes and wants,
Ladies in waiting full of woe,
Anguishing for Sir Lancelot
To deliver them from terrible ogres.
Heroes dashing, the gentle and brave,
Fighting duels for fair maidens.
Hoping to win a lovely bride,
And stay alive in the venture.
Science Fiction, glamour girls,
Lipstick tips and Dandelions.
Mathematics, Auto shop
Draw my mind into delicate fantasy.
But books are best when it's hot,
Refreshing, like a summer's night breeze.
So, put on your bathing suit and hop
Right into a book.
Broken Image
From the deep, I stand, Screaming
Yet - the face smiles, "All is well!"
My heart yearns for joy
But, a cold look keeps it black
Who I am, really, no one knows
She keeps me locked up, alone
I cry and fuss - longing to be free
Windows never break
Doors are ever strong
I was let out, ages ago
I spoke to a reflection in a crystal mirror
MISTAKE!
Shattered pieces still lay there
On the floor
I covered the broken image with
Sorrow
Leaving unhealed wounds
-Scars- in my haste
Accidents happen
Trembling hands, must be more
Careful
Even now you read
What I cannot speak
(You are one, not two)
Do you hear the pounding?
Heavy fists upon my cage?
One wants in
One wants out
And I am stuck
In the middle
Yet - the face smiles, "All is well!"
My heart yearns for joy
But, a cold look keeps it black
Who I am, really, no one knows
She keeps me locked up, alone
I cry and fuss - longing to be free
Windows never break
Doors are ever strong
I was let out, ages ago
I spoke to a reflection in a crystal mirror
MISTAKE!
Shattered pieces still lay there
On the floor
I covered the broken image with
Sorrow
Leaving unhealed wounds
-Scars- in my haste
Accidents happen
Trembling hands, must be more
Careful
Even now you read
What I cannot speak
(You are one, not two)
Do you hear the pounding?
Heavy fists upon my cage?
One wants in
One wants out
And I am stuck
In the middle
Friday, April 26, 2013
Broken
Flashes violently crash inside my mind
Of death, of pain, of blood, yet blind
As if I can't control the violence
Appears so pure and awful, benevolent
Is it even something real
Though invisible, same as steel
Red, black, cut and slice,
The blood will fall, though cold as ice
Death will come - so soon to follow
Life remains - pale and hollow
Others fire can't penetrate the cold
Causing this young heart, to become old
Difficult to swallow, decrepit and weak
If the demon is you, Can you turn your cheek
God will watch, His hands are tied
Lucifer saddles his horses, ready for the ride
Left alone, in blackness to suffer
No angel, no loved one, no not any other
She's dead they scream, at long long last
Closing the door, slamming out the past
Of death, of pain, of blood, yet blind
As if I can't control the violence
Appears so pure and awful, benevolent
Is it even something real
Though invisible, same as steel
Red, black, cut and slice,
The blood will fall, though cold as ice
Death will come - so soon to follow
Life remains - pale and hollow
Others fire can't penetrate the cold
Causing this young heart, to become old
Difficult to swallow, decrepit and weak
If the demon is you, Can you turn your cheek
God will watch, His hands are tied
Lucifer saddles his horses, ready for the ride
Left alone, in blackness to suffer
No angel, no loved one, no not any other
She's dead they scream, at long long last
Closing the door, slamming out the past
Sigh...
In the secret recesses of my mind
Lies a story of the abrasive kind
Where hope meets no hope
and they collide
Sitting here I do have hope
Yet, still, I sigh
Deep inside
I still feel heavy
An' deeply burdened with pain
It runs so deep making me insane
I cannot shed one tear to cry
All I can do is sigh
Many marvelous works pass my way
Duplicate - thank you's - red lips say
Fear comes and goes like the tide
Poor me,
I can only sigh
Beauty all around me bends
A plethora do I have of godly friends
Still my eyes stay dry
... an' I sigh
Where Can I Turn?
Peace speaks from quiet hours
Hunger and humility comfort
Through constant faithfulness
We gain the Heaven's support
The Father smiles down on us
He sends His Spirit with love
Know this all you who read this now
He lives and watches from above
He knows your heart your goals your aims
He listens to your prayers
He knows your names
You are His, and He is yours
With Him in your heart, you can pass
Heaven's doors
He gives you everything you've got
You know as well as I, it is a lot
He listens to your prayers
He knows your names
He knows your heart, you goals, your aims.
His love for you will never end
His love helps broken hearts to mend
After all is said and doe
We swill see His face
Together there, we will be in a warm embrace
All the cares of this world will be gone,
the pain too,
Our Heavenly Father will wrap you in his arms and whisper
"MY precious child, I love you
Welcome home."
Hunger and humility comfort
Through constant faithfulness
We gain the Heaven's support
The Father smiles down on us
He sends His Spirit with love
Know this all you who read this now
He lives and watches from above
He knows your heart your goals your aims
He listens to your prayers
He knows your names
You are His, and He is yours
With Him in your heart, you can pass
Heaven's doors
He gives you everything you've got
You know as well as I, it is a lot
He listens to your prayers
He knows your names
He knows your heart, you goals, your aims.
His love for you will never end
His love helps broken hearts to mend
After all is said and doe
We swill see His face
Together there, we will be in a warm embrace
All the cares of this world will be gone,
the pain too,
Our Heavenly Father will wrap you in his arms and whisper
"MY precious child, I love you
Welcome home."
Have You Ever...
Have you ever wanted something
but what, you weren't sure
Longing to be touched -
But not until the cure
Have you longed for one to hold you
to love you through your tears
But, couldn't bring yourself to cry,
concealing all your fears
Do you ever dream of being happy
fulfilling all your dreams
Still, trembling, at the truth
and how devastating it seams
Is there a yearning deep inside and
all you want is to understand?
Why someone has really hurt you
why its hard to take a stand
to look yourself in the eye
Without feeling pain and guilt
but not knowing why?
Do you avoid contact
with that person in the mirror
Forcing strong emotions away
reinforcing loneliness and fear
Not on purpose, do you feel
You've sabotaged your own life
Like you and happiness are opposites
elusive and full of strife
Did you ever want someone to hold you
and never let you go
Someone to say, "I love you"
even with everything they know
Someone you can trust - to say you are beautiful
or just someone you can trust
To be looked like you're a daughter of God
not dirt, or an object of lust
When someone has something very
important to you to say
Do you wish they'd just shut up and listen
or simply go away
Do you wanna be better
then you really think you are
To finally cut the umbilical chord
catch at last, you wishing star
Have you ever felt you were hopeless
living a horrific night terror
Hating all the injustice,
but knowing
she deserves it, her in the mirror
Have you ever just had a whole lot
of nothing to say
Do you wish you could just stop your heart
and it would all just go away?
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Friday, April 12, 2013
back burn
Man oh man!! I left my heating pad on all night long, and i was laying on top of it with my back. It hurts so bad because i have first and second degree burns on my back in a space of about one square foot. it is awful. I can't believe that it did that! grrrrrr,..... I suppose that is a lesson that i needed to learn. I am just lucky it isn't worse I guess.
No fun!!!
No fun!!!
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Romans Chapter 8 verses 1 - 4
8 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you[a] free from the law of sin and death. 3 For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh,[b] God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering.[c] And so he condemned sin in the flesh,4 in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.
This is such a beautiful set of verses. There is no condemnation, NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus. If you have confessed you are a sinner, and asked Jesus to be your personal Savior, and ask Him to come into your heart... you are under no condemnation. He forgives your sins, past- present- future. All is forgiven, and you are a new creature in Jesus Christ. He will dwell in your heart, as He is in mine. I feel wondrous and new. God is soooo good .... all the time!!!!
This is such a beautiful set of verses. There is no condemnation, NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus. If you have confessed you are a sinner, and asked Jesus to be your personal Savior, and ask Him to come into your heart... you are under no condemnation. He forgives your sins, past- present- future. All is forgiven, and you are a new creature in Jesus Christ. He will dwell in your heart, as He is in mine. I feel wondrous and new. God is soooo good .... all the time!!!!
Friday, March 29, 2013
Friday, March 22, 2013
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
today SUCKS
Days like today make me sick! I feel like shit! I ache like shit! The weather outside is shitty! and the memories I am having are shitty too...
i hate it so bad!
Grrrrrrrr
Monday, March 18, 2013
Depersonalization
"The experience of depersonalization involves an alteration in the individual's sense of self so that the person feels unreal as if he or she were in a dream, like a machine, dead, self-estranged, or otherwise significantly changed from his or her normal state. Sensory distrubances such as anethesias, parasthesias, alterations in sense of body size or body parts, macroscopia or microscopia or the experience of being outside of one's body and watching ones self from a distance or looking down from above are often present....
No single explanation accounts for the widespread nature of feelings of depersonalization, which are present in about 15 - 30% of all psychiatric patients irrespective of diagnosis. Nevertheless, as documented earlier in this chapter, depersonalization syndromes are frequently associated with a history of sustained traumas....
Dizziness or fainting episodes are frequently associated with onset of depersonalization syndromes..."
from the book "Diagnosis & Treatment of Multiple Personality Disorder" - Frank W. Putnam
No single explanation accounts for the widespread nature of feelings of depersonalization, which are present in about 15 - 30% of all psychiatric patients irrespective of diagnosis. Nevertheless, as documented earlier in this chapter, depersonalization syndromes are frequently associated with a history of sustained traumas....
Dizziness or fainting episodes are frequently associated with onset of depersonalization syndromes..."
from the book "Diagnosis & Treatment of Multiple Personality Disorder" - Frank W. Putnam
Somnambulism
Somnambulism
"Laboratory studies show that somnambulism occurs primarily during the first three hours of sleep and generally in stage 3 or 4 sleep. Typically the person sits up in bed, then gets up and moves around. Motor coordination is usually poor, and the person has an automation - like quality (ie., moves slowly and stiffly). The person's eyes are open, and his or her facial expression is blank. Complex behaviors such as dressing and eating have been observed in a laboratory settings. These behaviors are usually out of context and indicate the person's lack of awareness of his or her surroundings. Somnambulists are difficult to awaken and regain awareness gradually. In most cases, the person is completely amnesic for the episode. There is rarely more than one episode per night (Kales et al., 1980)."
taken from "Diagnosis & Treatment of Multiple Personality Disorder" by Frank W. Putnam
"Laboratory studies show that somnambulism occurs primarily during the first three hours of sleep and generally in stage 3 or 4 sleep. Typically the person sits up in bed, then gets up and moves around. Motor coordination is usually poor, and the person has an automation - like quality (ie., moves slowly and stiffly). The person's eyes are open, and his or her facial expression is blank. Complex behaviors such as dressing and eating have been observed in a laboratory settings. These behaviors are usually out of context and indicate the person's lack of awareness of his or her surroundings. Somnambulists are difficult to awaken and regain awareness gradually. In most cases, the person is completely amnesic for the episode. There is rarely more than one episode per night (Kales et al., 1980)."
taken from "Diagnosis & Treatment of Multiple Personality Disorder" by Frank W. Putnam
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)