I have had an interesting last few days. I was hanging out at my friends house from Thursday to Monday, yesterday, house sitting. I had a great time there! I had the whole house to myself, well me and the kitties. They were great company, and it was so much fun!
I had a lot of time to think about my life, and what is being made of it. I thought about how productive i had been for the last two weeks. I had been going through boxes and throwing out a ton of useless things. I felt good about getting rid of wedding pics, and the like. I have never been so thorough in releasing things from my intense grip - into the garbage, or Savers pile.
With all that going on, and working through some fierce emotions and flash backs, I had a great experience with God. I decided to trust Him and let go of the things that did me more harm by keeping them than they did keeping them. I threw away things from my marriage, high school, even dishes and pampered chef things that Robyn already has so i didn't have to keep extra clutter. I am giving some things to my little sister. They are in need of pans, dishes, shampoo and conditioner, lotion, deodorant, towels and wash cloths. And a few odds and ends. I feel really good about giving her what she really needs... a lot of people don't want to give her any support right now, but I know that God truly loves her, and she really needs this stuff...so I have extras - therefore I can help her out. I know God would do that if He were here, and I am here, so I will do it. I love her so much!!
I have my pillow case of toys that my two little niece and nephew play with from time to time. They like to come in my room and play kitties. It is so cute. I cherish those moments!
I do need to go through my shoes and my purses. I have a lot of both of them. I also need to get rid of some more clothing because i think i have too much stuff, things that do not fit.
My T asked me not to work on my losing weight thing. Not yet. He said that I have so much to work on, that if I tried to work on everything all at once I would not only go crazy, I would probably end up in the hospital over it. I do NOT want to go back to the psych ward, so I am gonna take his advice! Speaking of my T, he is such a great T!! He is so in tune, and he doesn't judge me and tell me I am bad and that I am gonna go to hell. I really admire that.
So the things that I am working on are as follows: Anxiety control, PTSD relief, not cutting, Keeping track of switching and pulling together the individuals from the inside...that last one is really hard.
So while I am working on that stuff, I am also trying to perfect my bedroom and bathroom. I am doing pretty good i think, but it still needs work.
This is the first time i have organized things in a productive manner ... I have tried to do it before, but with help from Robyn I am doing pretty damn good I think.
Well, I am gonna go get back into the unpacking and going through it part of my brain.
Thanks for reading this whole thing, if you did.
Hugs
Bri
No comments:
Post a Comment